Report: Business man Ross Perot Found Alive In Texas Home, Age 81

Earlier this morning Ross Perot's maid found the Texas Billionaire alive in his Dallas Home. "He was just sitting there, eating oatmeal", she says. No official word has been released yet from the Perot camp, but Inquisitive Online's doctor says a steady stream of blood coursing through the heart is probably the cause. This is rare amongst 81 year olds and is considered to be a freak occurrence. Ross Perot was, and still is, the founder of Electronic Data systems though he's probably more well know for his presidential run in 1996. Perot is the most successful person to ever run on a third party ticket in American history. A legacy his family is still enjoying, because he is alive. Inquisitive Online has reached out  to Mr. Perot's family and has gotten almost no replies aside from his son Ross Perot Jr. who sent us a text saying only, "You're an asshole". But we were able to reach out to Perot impressionist Dana Carvey who said, "You're an Asshole". I'm an asshole? He was the one who made "Master of Disguise". So there you have it, today is a very normal day for the loved ones of Ross Perot and anyone who knew, or still knows the man. EDITORS NOTE: We at Inquisitive Online are very aware of how offensive, and inaccurate, this article will probably be in the near future. At that point we will remove it, and by it I mean Ross Perot's name, and by remove I mean replace, with Casey Kasem. Author - Z. A. Aycock